The Things You Will Never Know.

Sometimes I wished when Leanne came home from the hospital, you would somehow magically remain there. Because at the back of my head I know, when the house gates open and I stand at the door waiting to see everyone step out from the vehicle, and i see you open the door and lay your foot out of the car, I knew that I would hear you screaming. Yes. You screaming about everything that I did wrong.

Today when I heard that Leanne shall be coming home, In my heart I was screaming for joy, but in my head i was mentally preparing myself for the worse. I knew that I would get the biggest misfits from you. About everything I have done that never pleased you.

• The second you stepped out of the car, before I could even open my mouth to say welcome home, you yelled at me because your plants looked shriveled and blamed me for not watering them. Truth is mum, I did. Everyday.
  
• You stepped in to the house, and you yelled at me about the bags on your bench. How I always left my stuff on it, how I never learnt. Truth is mum, Those weren't my bags.
• You went into the kitchen and realised a pan was dusty due to the work we did there 2 days ago. That I did not wash it. Truth is mum, I spent an hour scrubbing and rewashing everything, plates, utensils, cutlery, the cooking tools, the knives, the cups, the sink, everything. And yes I did not wash it, because Callie said she would do them.
• You go upstairs to keep your clothes, but you complained about how your ironed clothes were not up to standard and in a way chucked it right in my face. Truth is mum, I spent the past nights sitting at the ironingboard ironing and folding the mountains of clothes that no one else would. I was instructed to do my own, But I took the time to do the whole family's. And I'm sorry if its not up to your standard as I usually dont do the ironing, Burnt myself a couple of times but thanks for redo-ing the pile.
• Callie finally started to help in the kitchen again, she took my usual of scooping rice, laying the table and taking the utensils out. You yelled for me with a high pitched scream and said I was never going to help around and I shall always be the lazy elder who glues her eyes to the computer screen. Truth is mum, Ever since the day you went into the hospital, Callie stopped doing the scooping and I did the dinner work. Yeah, I always packed the food for you.
  

I know I disappoint you, But today, I felt the urge to break down as I will never be the daughter you always wanted me to be. Yes you yelled harshful things at me. Yes I never did the work because i was always busy. And yes, I always didn't help around the house.

But after you left, I mopped your floors, I washed the oily Tupperware you used, I did the clothes, I took care of your pride and joy, And I did my best to follow all of the many things you instructed me to do. And I'm sorry if I failed you.

You were in here 2 seconds ago and you said:

' Everyday sit here, never see you do anything at all.'

Well, truth is I wasnt, I was studying in my room.


The things you never knew mum, the things you never knew.